Sweet Buffet of Fees

Thank you dear caring bank with a buffet line of fees like the Opening Fee, Closing Fee, Maintenance Fee, Transaction Fee, Excessive Transactions Fee, Unavailable Funds Fee, Insufficient Funds Fee, Returned Deposit Fee, Teller Fee, Below Required Balance Fee, Returned Check Fee, Internet Banking Fee, ATM Fee, Out Of Area ATM Bank Fee, Telephone Banking Fee, Withdraw Fee, Check Cashing Fee, Internet Bill Pay Fee, Overdraft Fee, Overdraft Protection Fee, Overdraft Protection Transfer Fee, Daily Withdrawal Limit Fee, Monthly Fee, Annual Fee, thanks to you I can’t afford the $6,500 to die but I’m just rich enough to live to pay my taxes.

Speeding Tickets Suck

So going over a 4 lane bridge and being the only car on it, the cop at the bottom of the hill had trouble pulling me over 48 in a 35, I wasn't even in a hurry which normally I am. Oh well this happened back in June. I just remembered to take care of it today. $100 fee to sign up for their 4 hour defensive driving course so it don't show up on my driving record. Been clear for 15 months now. Thankfully its online. So about $$$ now days, he charged me another $100 for not having my proof of insurance but I complained about that since I had it with me just not in the 15 seconds he gave me to look for it. They dropped that like it was hott. I sure was.

Florida Trip

My trip to Florida went well, very short but well I uploaded my photos here. I went there for free to a marketing event and then took a day to go to the beaches. I went swimming at Cocoa Beach and the Hilton pool at Disney. I was staying in the VIP section in the penthouse.

It was fun jamming to XM 81 and then stopping by Ikea in Atlanta on the way back.

Work has been slow lately so if you are reading this and need a website or something just let me know and I'll be glad to charge you. :)

Saint Bernard Abbey, Benedictine Monks of Cullman, Alabama

I needed a break from things so I took off to a church in Alabama I saw online. I uploaded more photos to my flickr.

Out with the Old, In with the New

Above is a photo of my 1995 Nissan Maximum as of last Wednesday at 4:00 on I-440. No one was cited, the other driver was very certain I didn't cause it but some loser decided to cut in the lane in front of him and then slam the brakes. His car slowed down and my car slide right into the back of his. I had some bruises and a killer headache but made it through just fine.

Above is my 2002 Nissan Maximum as of Sunday. My nicest car yet. I went to the tow yard and parted out my old car. I don't like to get dirty but to get my xm radio out and alot of other things. I singled handed took out the whole dash to my old car. I saw a guy take apart it before so I just did everything in reverse that he screwed things in and wholla you just saved yourself alot of money. So I got my GPS, iPhone gadgets and XM Radio back in my car. I really just wanted something functional but it is nice to have halogen lamps to blind people with and white leather seats instead of the oven hot black.

Check out my flickr for more photos of Downtown Nashville's Fireworks.

Coterminous, stakeholder engagement

Some news out of England, I think our PC gets alittle out of hand at times.
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The body that represents the country's local authorities has told its members to stop using management buzzwords, saying they confuse people and prevent residents from understanding what local governments do.

The Local Government Association, whose members include hundreds of district, town and county councils in England and Wales, on Friday sent out a list of 100 "non-words" that it said officials should avoid if they want to be understood.

The list includes the popular but vague term "empowerment;" "coterminosity," a situation in which two organizations oversee the same geographical area; and "synergies," combinations in which the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Officials were told to ditch the term "revenue stream" for income, as well as the imprecise "sustainable communities." The association also said councils should stop referring to local residents as "customers" or "stakeholders."

The association's chairman, Simon Milton, said officials should not "hide behind impenetrable jargon and phrases."

"Why do we have to have 'coterminous, stakeholder engagement' when we could just 'talk to people' instead?" he said.

The association sent its letter after reports that one town council had told staff to use the term "thought showers" instead of "brainstorming."

Officials at Tunbridge Wells council in southern England felt brainstorming might offend people with epilepsy, a condition that involves periodic electrical storms inside the brain.

However, the National Society for Epilepsy said it had surveyed its members and they did not find the term offensive.

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Life is going well for me, business has slowed down some but its ok. I've typed out some poems I wrote a few weeks ago.

What I’ve Done

From the moment I rise and put my feet on the cold floor
The memories try to unhide from the closet in my mind
I can handle being beaten, laughed at and hated
But you gave the one thing I can’t handle: silence
Your silence fueled the pain of isolation from so many relationships
So to get even, I made sure you felt pain behind your façade of laughter
After I had time to understand what was all done.
God cleared the slate, but still I must face myself
I must let go of what people think of me.
Everyday to face myself, erase the past
Struggle to put to rest the regret.
I let this go tonight, I move on to become the better person I am without you.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll start again but for now this guilt trip ends.

Memories of Who You Are

I have these recurring dreams since I was young that I will die soon and I wonder who would care, who would be sad, when my time comes.
Will the wrongs done be more then the rights.
I can’t be the person so many people wanted me to be.
Will they remember the person I was or am?
I hope there will be memories people keep rather then quickly forget.
Separate what I’ve done to what I’ve lived for.
I’m not perfect but neither are you.
Until that dreams takes life, let the reality of today sink in.
Listen to each other before you’re left to regret what was last said or unsaid.
Live free in the present and let the past have no part of your future.

Friday Humor

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la Casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
Groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves

Whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each
Group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of
the
Feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for
Possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
Spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be

Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time
They ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a
Little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Bare Minerals, good stuff. I've had alot more compliments since then. I wrote a check and the girl was looking at my driver license which the photo is from this January. She said wow, you look so much younger now. I've been asked by people if I'm a teenager, I get 19-20 sometimes. For being 25 and hearing that, I think this bare minerals is going to be a keeper.

Other news, onsite computer repair has a dangerous side to it. A client that I've worked on his laptop before, has been calling me all week. He was like I want to see you. Well he asked for a hug and he then he started kissing me and all that. Gross, he kept saying I really like you and I was like I have to go now. This is like 3rd time I've gone somewhere and a guy asks to hug me and they end up going kissing me. Its really freaky. My roommates think I should carry maze. I've been asked repeatably by single, hairy, old guys to go out to dinner and a movie. People call me sometime and say my computer is fine but can I just see you. The guy today told me what alot of people tell, I have pretty eyes and a smile. Maybe I should use black eyeshadow and frown alot.

I'm still doing this weightloss thing, its hard to lose weight I've always dropped it faster then this time. No matter what I do I only lose alittle bit. I might go to the green hills Y again tonight and commit murder on some fat cells.

The Switch to Bare Minerals

After hearing alot from people that this stuff works. I gave up my Estée Lauder / Walmart Combo and went to Sephora in Green Hills and got me my start kit. It seems to make for a good complexion. One of my roommates uses this and gets alot of compliments. I can be such a Tom Boy though, what ever happen to the wake up and go to work, now you have to spend 15 mins after hair time, making sure your pores are hidden with 3 different layers.